Life with Master

Richs_kari

Teaching Submission

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richs_kari

Name: karirenee

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To Master -

You complete me...
In your presence I feel safe
Your voice soothes and calms me
You touch my soul, without even touching me
My body aches to be in your arms
I melt with one single touch
I feel you with me even when we are apart
You have a special place in my heart
I am yours forever.

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"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."

~Will Rogers

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"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

~Anon

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"A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."

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30th-Apr-2008 10:41 pm

Master was talking to a sub friend of ours and the topic of if a person can be taught to be submissive, so I've been pondering it. I know for me that there is no teaching as I've always been submissive natured, I've never been a leader, always a follower. I know many submissives that are dominant in their work environment and submissive outside of work, but I've never talked to any of them in detail about how the switch takes place.

Perhaps it's like when they walk in their home it's an automatic transition. For me, I think being dominant in a job and then submissive to Master would completely confuse me, as I think I would get caught in the "I'm in charge" thing. That's just me though, not sure about others. A submissive can be trained, at first I thought that included being taught, but now I'm not sure. Can submission be forced? And if so, why would a dominant want it to be something they force upon a submissive.

Then we transition into being a slave, is that something that you can be taught? I often get in the debate of the differences between submissive and slave, I'm often told that a submissive has rights and a slave doesn't. Then they go on to tell me that a slave having no rights means that if her Master told her to jump off a bridge she would and if she didn't she wasn't a slave. Or what if He decided to cause great harm, asked me do something that I was totally against.

Wanna here my opinion? Okay, I'll tell you.

I know that Master would never harm me because I'm no use to Him if I'm hurt. When Master and I first got together we did the red-green-yellow safe words, we talked about things I didn't want to do, things that I was scared of. After He collared me, every decision was given to Him, but I know that He has things that He isn't interested in doing. I'm not into scat, neither is He, so that's something I didn't have to worry about, but if He was, what would I do? I would trust Him, plus deep down I know He wouldn't change that.

So yes He does have complete control, but I know that He wouldn't harm me or ask me to do anything that He most likely wouldn't do.

Is being a slave a deeper level of being a submissive? Can you be taught to be a slave?

I think that being a slave is much deeper. I am undecided if I think a submissive can be taught to be a slave. I know for me the Master that took me on in the beginning said I was just natural as a slave and that's what I was meant to be. I know that I am a slave and that's what Master considers me.

Anyone have any thoughts, discussion is always good.

Rich's kari

Tags:slave, submissive, teaching, training
Location:In the office
Mood:contemplative
Music:Top Chef

Comments

1st-May-2008 01:29 pm (UTC)

tommyswifey

I've always thought that a slave is an owned submissive person while a submissive person is not always owned:

Slave = submissive person
Submissive person ≠ slave

Just my humble opinion though. :)

1st-May-2008 01:46 pm (UTC)

richs_kari

That makes sense, I haven't heard that train of thought before, thanks.

I love your icon.

1st-May-2008 04:15 pm (UTC)

his_puka

I used to laugh at people who called themselves slaves. Now I am one.

I have a subby friend that considers herself a sub and she will often tell her Dom no on things.

No isn't in my vocabulary. (well, it is in my mind, doesn't mean I say it outloud though!) For us now, it's just a deeper commitment. Things that he would have had me do 5 years ago, I woulda been all "oh hell no". Now? I try to find the least disgusting way to do it (if it's disgusting.)

I, too, have been having issues trying to figure out the difference between a sub and a slave. I have been told officially to forget about it. He considers me his slave and that is all that matters. My brain, however, doesn't stop wondering.

2nd-May-2008 07:13 pm (UTC)

richs_kari

I remember when people said I was a slave and I was saying that I never would be one and now I am.

If I started saying no to Master why tushie would hurt and not in a good way. There are a few things that I never thought I would do, but Master changed my mind.

My brain never stops pondering things, sadly it's something that Master can't control.

2nd-May-2008 06:05 am (UTC) - WOWZA

hislilstar

This is one of your deeper ones babe.... I have a few opinions, one is that I do believe a submissive can be taught to be a eventual slave in fact alot of people I know were just that then over the years they needed less and less and became more and more slave like. Just like pain puppys in the beginning a swat hurt now its all about bring on the blood LOL.

I am one in which you talk of I am a Manager of a practice and have been for about 15 years now, I hire n fire if needed. I direct they follow. I have an assistant that does as she was trained. When I come home I leave work at the door. I have no desire outside of my job to be the boss of anything and like you I never have. I am a submissive threw and threw. I know we have personally had this talk alot of what am I? etc.... I have come to the conclusion I more then likely will NEVER be a slave. I have far to many needs and wants in this life and if they are not being met or thrown to the wolves I have no problem telling him. I cannot obey blindly, I can obey but not blindly. I do have limits just not many and we match to a tee so Im not worried about the ones I do have.

I know a few people who didnt even know they had a submissive bone until they were exposed to it and the community some blossomed some over the years have also become switch. For me I cant be a Domme, I dont have it in me nore the desire to be that person. I doubt I will ever be the person that craves being in a cage all day nekkid with a bowl of water. You know what I mean by this right?? After all this time I think I would know. Now if Master wants to call me his slave I will be what ever he chooses to call me BUT in my heart I know I am not. I am his submissive and I am that 110% with all that I am. I cant be all nilla now that the beast is out. It just isnt me any more.

Work though, I HATE having to have a buncha people to answer to or looking over MY shoulder I would rather be the looker so it works. In the beginning it was weird seperating them out but Master taught me the leave it at the door thing and it works great.

Loves and I am still missing my kari time dammit

smooch
tia

2nd-May-2008 07:16 pm (UTC) - Re: WOWZA

richs_kari

I am so glad you shared, because you are the example of being in charge at work. Have you ever come home, didn't leave at the door, and try to be Dominant to Sir Ron?

I always say that I couldn't Dom a rock and it's true.

We have talked about the blinding obeying and that's been something that I have struggled with, as you know. I always want to know why I need to do such and such, and sometimes I get told "Because I said so," so I do.

5th-May-2008 05:53 am (UTC) - Re: WOWZA

hislilstar

hola.... well, I havent done that as much with work wise because it is so diffrent then anything in our home or work life. I have had problems with giving up control in general. Its better and alot of it I have let go. My Master is like yours once I let it go he expects that I dont go back on it period. I almost tend to hold some of it as a security blanket not cause he would leave hell its been over 16 years now but so that when he wants to back off I am not so dependant on him telling me what and when to do stuff understand?? I will more then likely always struggle with this in one way or another.

Not a strong suit of mine at all.

smooch
tia

2nd-May-2008 05:47 pm (UTC)

luna_km

I know you can train a person to be submissive but there has to be ground to stand on first. Does the person have a tendency to serve or be submissive? Then they can learn to be more submissive.

It took me a long time for me to be able to say that I am submissive. I have a lot of nature and nurture that contradicted it. I'm firstborn, thus making naturally dominant personality. I was abused as a child and instead of recoiling I took a stand and started punching back, thus making me aggressive. I took on managerial positions because I feel comfortable working that way.

But when I found BDSM I found that I felt at peace with myself when I was submissive. I loved it. My Master said he saw this in me and wanted to cultivate it. It's not really be training to be submissive as it has been rewiring what I learned and how I have always behaved. It takes personal change. No one can do it for you.

I do not know about becoming a slave once you are submissive. I don't know if this is just a natural progression that someone could move into that mindset, which I believe to be wholly different. I do believe that slaves and submissives are different as if they are on different steps of a ladder. Whether it is a step up or a step down depends on your point of view.

2nd-May-2008 07:19 pm (UTC)

richs_kari

Thank you for sharing.

The rewiring part was something that I resisted in the beginning of our relationship, as I'm stubborn and I didn't want to change, I wanted Master to adapt to me and that didn't last long.

I can understand the peace that can be felt, it's that way for me.

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